True. Let's be honest the extremists aren't the only ones making up imaginary problems. We all do, only ours are mostly excuses for not doing something. Ones that don't really affect other people that much.

One thing that's always intrigued me about extremists from both sides of the spectrum and all those other deluded souls. How will you know when all those imaginary problems are solved?

Another fact for ya. Before the English used the term frog against the French it was used as an insult to Dutch people because their land was marshy. The Dutch were once the shortest nation in Europe. Now they're the tallest. That's what dykes do for you.

That might be the right approach. I'm always stuck trying to decide which one to put on. Depending on how crazy I want to look and what the voices inside my head are telling me. Once they start arguing it can go on for hours.

My own conspiracy theory is that most conspiracy theories are fomented by the real conspirators. They want to keep us occupied so we don't discover what the real conspiracies are. I've only got two tinfoil hats smart and casual. How many have you got?

Coincidentally it was an Australian I learned that factoid from. I'm originally from Cornwall and know from experience that when the sun was out you didn't want to be at work. You wanted to be out there enjoying it while it lasted. :)

Here's one for next week. 50% of the earth's precipitation falls on the 12 wettest days of the year. The wettest day of every year accounts for over 8% of precipitation. The main problem with this trivia is that nobody knows in advance which days it will be.

Weird fact of the week: People work far more productively during bad weather than they do during good weather.

I'm not, sure but I don't think that is a henge either. It has to have a bank and an internal ditch going around it to qualify as a henge. Honestly what are they like these archaeologists? lol

Here are two things which explain the world we live in for me.

1) Stonehenge, after which all Henge's are named, is not a Henge.
2) Lou Gehrig, did not die of Lou Gehrig's Disease.

See what I mean? That's why nothing ever makes sense.

It cannot be denied that humor can be used as a weapon. But if somebody comes at you with a knife I wouldn't recommend it. The British did use it against Hitler with great effect though. Millions died. So be careful with those jokes.

Last week I found out Germany has no laws against bestiality. So here I am in Berlin. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not here for animal love. I'm here because I'm a Nazi. So it's all perfectly innocent. Shame on anyone who thought otherwise.

Now I've rid myself of the shackles of a calendar imposed on me, I've moved on to time. That's a nonsense as well isn't it. I was going to go metric with ten hours made up of one hundred minutes each. Not anymore. At the tone the time will be threepence past quandary precisely.

I think that in the interests of equality and diversity it's about time everybody used whatever calendar they like. True freedom will only exist when we stop being slaves to calendars we never voted for. Throw off your chains!! Dated: 57th of Plumpy 4317286998.3421.

Words of wisdom indeed. lol

59 years ago Sinatra sang "Love is easier the second time around". Frankly that's disgusting (pun fully intended). I have have no wish to know of anyone else's bodily effluents nor the efficacy of their lubrication. There is no reason to share. I bid you good day sir.

Did you know you cab buy straitjackets online? At first I wanted to know why they were for sale. Then I kind of worked it out and didn't want to google it anymore. I get mine for free at this hotel I stay at. Free drugs to. I like the little pink ones the best.

Facts are rarely right and that's a fact.

OMG. Another awards ceremony last night? They are coming along so thick & fast now, it's hard to keep track. How do these wonderful millionaires find time in their busy pretending schedules to fit these awards in? I feel blessed these people pretend to care, so I don't have to.

Harrison Ford coughing up another fur ball. From which he insists all his clothes are made.

Ah the good old days. There was nothing like them. They were so much better than the bad new days. What I wouldn't give for another polio epidemic or an outbreak of diphtheria to lighten up these dark times. A decent war would cheer us all up no end I'm sure.

Knobs! Where has all the knobs gone? Once my TV and cooker had knobs. Now they is gone. Then I see the MSM and knobs is everywhere. They is running things now it seems. Now knobs is doing all our thinking for us. I never let my knob do my thinking before? What is this?

The current hate storm against those Cathodic school kids who supposedly obstructed some Native Indians. There is a 2 hour video of what took place. The haters ignore it and double down on their lies. Produce another 60 second excerpt of the 2 hour video as proof.

I'll give you an example. If you state the fact that while men make up 93% of the top 1% in society they also make up 95% of the bottom 1% in society, you will be branded a sexist or worse. People think facts have opinions. They reject facts that don't agree with them.

Unfortunately that is not how many people see it. These days telling the truth is often classified as hate speech. Especially telling someone they are fat. Feelings are more important than facts. I prefer the truth myself.

On social media lies travel 6 times faster than the truth. Even when the truth is revealed people will still believe the lie because they prefer it. Sad but true. I prefer facts and reality. I am in the minority unfortunately. The only lies I produce are for humorous purposes.

If you think someone is fat, ugly or sexy then stating this would be true. In the sense that it is your view. If someone asked you if you liked them and you didn't, then saying yes would be a lie. Lies are kinder that's obvious most lies are social lies.

Honesty is the best policy.
No it isn't.

Examples:
I don't like any of your friends.
You look really fat in that dress.
I think your mother is really sexy.
Your baby is very ugly.

Honesty is rarely the best policy.

I love the way you're thinking. I could cybersquat on that as well.

I am tempted. Don't know what I would use the website for though. All I did was come up with the name, so I thought. I'm an ideas man. I think up stuff and hope someone else will do it for me.

I just had this brilliant idea to build a website called Dotcom.com, only to find out there's already one under construction. This is going to be BookFace all over again. So near and yet so far. Back to the drawing board.

George Clooney has a rider in all his movie contracts that provides him with a supply of diabetic orphans he forces to eat M&M's. Then he flicks peanuts at them as they slip into coma's. You read it here first. He's too good to be true I tell ya. He makes all other men look bad.

The best thing about being a cynic is that you are very rarely wrong.
The worst thing about being a cynic is that you are very rarely wrong.

ROFL I can't think of anything clever or funny.

We could start counter movements that can hate each other. Which ones do you want to be? The Nazi ones or the Regressive Progressive ones? It's all the same to me lol

From this day forth I resolve to be far more tolerant of intolerance. Purely out of self defense, I am going to ignore all the lies, fake news and hatred for at least the next 2 weeks. In other words I'm taking a break from antisocial media.

NUDE PICTURES OF JENNIFER LAWRENCE.
Yes indeed I was naked when I took this picture of JL. Contrary to what the police said this was not a home invasion. It was an innocent mistake your honor. The case for the defense rests.

Being a father people often ask me what the best age to have children is. Personally I like to think about their mother. It's her that has to give birth so I'd recommend the age to have children at is zero. They get really big after that.

When you take a look at this wonderfully crazy world, that's filled with love and landmines, it makes you think. It makes me think: How the hell do I get out of here?

It's sobering to think that but for window blinds it would be curtains for all of us.

That ancient joke has now been taken out into a field and shot, then buried in an unmarked grave. It's alright, it's gone. It can't hurt you anymore.

Yeah I know. It never ends. Especially these days lol

I have actually encountered them as well. They are weird which is why I parody them.

First it's a joke. Second I completely agree with you. There is absolutely nothing which gives me greater joy than a smiling, happy baby. However I'm trying to project the image of a callous, cynical misanthrope here. This isn't helping that illusion. :)

Babies, never as much fun as you'd think they'd be. Once you bring them home the novelty soon fades. Then you realize you've got to take care of them for at least 18 years. Unless you live in the developing world of course there you can sell it to a Hollywood celebrity.

Isn't it about time somebody started writing down all those unwritten rules? Except if someone wrote down the unwritten rules they'd no longer be unwritten rules. It would contravene the rules on unwritten rules. Someone has to write down the rules regulating unwritten rules.

I should have said you need to be careful with some biological weapons when you use them. They can bring you out in a nasty rash.

You just need to change your brand. There's a biological weapon for everyone I guarantee you.

The best thing about biological weapons is that they work much better than non biological weapons at low temperatures.

I am forced to concede lol

As you all know there's nothing more dangerous than an idiot who thinks they're smart. And I should know. I are one.